BRIAN DE PALMA's COLUMBO!

I kid you not.  "Shooting Script", an unproduced Columbo spec script has turned up, dated 26th July 1973, written by Joseph P. Gillis and Brian De Palma.  De Palma we all know for the genius film director he is, responsible for a string of the most inventive and entertaining thrillers since Hitchcock.  Gillis is untraceable and may well be a pseudonym for the series' staffers, since they are bound to have had input into a spec script (an unsolicited screenplay).

Or, it could be De Palma's collaborator(s) wishing to remain anonymous.

Jackson Gillis was the former executive story consultant for Columbo, though he continued to contribute - suggesting a staffer; Joe Gillis is the screenwriter character played by William Holden in Billy Wilder's Sunset Boulevard - suggesting a 'movie brat' having some fun.

Hey, maybe it's Paul Schrader!

He and De Palma met that year, after he reviewed Sisters.  They and all the other so-called movie brats - Scorsese, Spielberg (who had of course directed a Columbo), John Milius etc. hung out together in LA the summer of '73.  It was a formative time for them, resulting in Taxi Driver for one.  The following year the pair collaborated on Vertigo-inspired script "Déjà Vu", filmed by De Palma as Obsession.

Maybe it is Paul Schrader!

"The perfect crime is the motiveless crime, but then again there is no such thing as a motiveless crime.  Even a maniacal urge to kill indiscriminately is a motive ...But subtlety of motive -- that always confounds the police, who have no subtlety at all.  The police also have no taste, whereas my taste is exquisite...  Thus I decide that taste will be my motive -- and the most distasteful thing in this distasteful world to me is this cult of pseudo-celebrities.  I shall kill a television star.  Without style, or grace.  Creatures of the media.  This chic apartment building, where I live, is full of these public zircons.  I shall kill one of them."
Quentin Lee in "Shooting Script"

For Columbo, the date indicates Season Three.  A four month writers' strike had held up production, with just two episodes in the can, and in July 1973 they were gearing up to make the remaining six shows.  Stephen J Cannell, soon to find enormous fame with The Rockford Files, also handed in a spec script at this time - it was something to do during the strike, he said.  His episode was produced - more on that later.

For Brian De Palma, then 32 years old, he had seen the successful release of his psychological horror Sisters earlier in the year, and was prepping cult favourite Phantom of the Paradise.

Where did Columbo fit in?  De Palma famously hates television, considering it the ultimate manifestation of art selling out to commerce, and to my knowledge has never worked in the medium other than here.  I'm presuming he was attracted to the show's idea-led structure.  Sisters had been a new direction after his improvisatory comedies Greetings and Hi Mom! - a challenge to try working within the confines of the thriller.  Columbo may have been another.

Also, it was a good gig, with a number of Emmys already under its belt.  And I can't believe De Palma didn't like Columbo.  Hopefully Steven Spielberg put in a good word too.

Peter Falk as Lieutenant Columbo in Season 3 of the NBC Sunday Mystery Movie, which was Number 14 for that year.

And it's a good fit.  I loved the script: it's classic Columbo and very De Palma.

The episode opens over shots of San Quentin prison cells - we're not sure what we're watching - which turns out to be a documentary playing through a video machine.

Our guest murderer is "Quentin Lee" - a famous writer on the subject of crime, documentary filmmaker and sometime television personality. He is based on Truman Capote I would guess, and a most delicious Columbo villain he would have made.

De Palma takes the programme right back to its Dostoyevskian origins.  Like Raskolnikov in 'Crime and Punishment' - quoted here - Lee commits murder as an experiment.  He wants to document a perfect crime, and sets about doing so with a video camera.

Brian De Palma on the set of Phantom of the Paradise in 1973, dreaming up a McMillan and Wife

Already it is displaying De Palma themes.  Both Hi Mom! and the later, partly autobiographical Home Movies feature characters documenting their lives through film cameras.  We don't actually see Lee until he has perpetrated the crime, when he sets the camera down to move the body - just as we don't see Robert De Niro for the first few minutes of Hi Mom! as he is operating the camera.

Lee's victim is the vacuous host of a tawdry talk show - De Palma's contempt for television probably manifesting itself.

I'll not go into too much detail about the plot.  Lt. Columbo is being shadowed throughout by a trio of college students - one of whom is named Spielberg - who are documenting his activities for their graduate class (shades of the much later "Columbo Goes to College").  More recording going on.

Whether Spielberg's name appears because of his connection with Columbo, or his friendship with De Palma, we'll never know.  At the time he was working on The Sugarland Express, his first theatrical feature.  Even though the script was dropped the producers still found a way to work his name into the show - that season's "Mind Over Mayhem" episode, written by story editor Steven Bochco and producer Dean Hargrove, features a child genius named 'Steve Spelberg'.

Columbo ordering a bowl of chili from diner owner Bert (played by Kubrick regular Timothy Carey) in Season One's "Dead Weight".

Further details: Bert, Columbo's diner owner pal from "Ransom for a Dead Man" and "Dead Weight", appears; there is a very clever twist on the 'blackmailer turns up leading to second murder' formula; and the final "pop" - as Peter Falk labelled the clever and clinching proof that comes at the end of each episode - is dependent on a motion-sensitive video camera, a device re-used by Brian De Palma some years later in Dressed to Kill.

If I were to hazard a guess as to why it wasn't produced, I'd say there are a couple of details which might have proved difficult to show effectively on screen.  De Palma himself could've solved them if he was directing, but they seem rather ambitious for television.  Also, the murderer being panicked into revealing the location of the incriminating evidence, as happens here, is similar to Stephen J Cannell's "Double Exposure" - and better done there to be honest.

The page count suggests a 90-minute Columbo rather than a 2-hour, but I would've given this one the longer time.  Quentin Lee's motivation is unique in Columbo history, similar to that depicted in Hitchcock's Rope in fact, and should be given more room to breathe.

As for who could have played Lee, my first thought was John Lithgow, who has been enlisted by De Palma for villainous duties a number of times - but at 6' 4" is too imposing a physical presence for this part.  I see this more like Clifton Webb in Laura, so how about Paul Williams, diminutive singer-songwriter and actor who played the Faustian record producer in Phantom of the Paradise, De Palma's very next project!  He'd be perfect.  I can only hear him reading the extract above, now.

Paul Williams as Swan in Phantom of the Paradise (1974)

I was delighted to get the chance to read this script, and stunned to discover its existence after almost 40 years.  It's a fascinating insight into the early development of De Palma as an artist, and just as importantly, it's a new episode of 70s Columbo!  Any more hidden gems out there?

NEXT TIME: Who knew Woody Allen penned an Adam-12?

ADDENDUM (14th July 2012): Geoff over at De Palma a la Mod has done some investigating and discovered that "Joseph P. Gillis" is in fact critic and screenwriter Jay Cocks.  Cocks was film critic for TIME magazine in the early 1970s and a close friend of De Palma and Martin Scorsese.  Head over to De Palma a la Mod for more information, plus a few words from Mr De Palma himself!

ADDENDUM 2 (6th August 2012): I found this extract in a profile of Brian De Palma from The Milwaukee Journal, written by Helen Dudar, and dated 20th April 1980 a few months before Dressed to Kill was released.  This is the Columbo script!  De Palma and Jay Cocks must have rewritten it as a film when it wasn't used.  This didn't make it either sadly.

DOCTOR WHO vs. Buck Rogers - 1980 A.D.

The logo is bigger, I grant you.

From 1963 to 1980, Doctor Who enjoyed great success in its Saturday teatime slot on BBC1.  There were ups and downs over the 17 years, but its popularity held remarkably well over such a long period of time, always winning its time slot.

The ITV strike of 1979, lasting 10th August to 24th October, even allowed the long-established series to enjoy some audiences of over 19m: the largest figures Who has ever achieved.

But with Season Eighteen in 1980, ratings crashed.  This run, the first under producer John Nathan-Turner, beginning on Saturday 30th August at 6.15pm, suffered a humiliating defeat by Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.

Buck Rogers was a new import being screened by the ITV network approximately one year after its debut in the US.  Based on a fifty year-old comic book character, it starred Gil Gerard as a NASA pilot from the 20th century who is frozen for 500 years and wakes up to new adventures in a post-nuclear civilisation.

It had the benefit of having its pilot movie released theatrically, in the UK in late July 1979 - hence this was not shown during its initial run on ITV.

Produced by Glen A Larson, Rogers was an attempt to do Star Wars for television (his second, after Battlestar Galactica), and to be honest doesn't have a lot going for it outside of its state-of-the-art, albeit heavily recycled, special effects.  However, at the time that was probably enough to sway viewers away from the BBC's brand of videotaped science fiction - especially after the enormous cinema success of Star Wars, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, The Empire Strikes Back, The Black Hole and even Moonraker.  Sadly, the writing was on the wall for the original series of Doctor Who.

Gil Gerard and ERIN GRAY in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.  Okay, there may have been other reasons why people watched this instead of Doctor Who.

For sixteen weeks in the autumn of 1980, the two shows were on simultaneously.  Who's ratings were terrible, all the more so for there being only three channels at the time: an average of just over 5 million.  Part Two of the third story screened, "Full Circle", was in 170th place in the charts with 3.7m.  Were there even 170 programmes on British television in one week in 1980?!

It's a shame that John Nathan-Turner's new look for the show was so roundly ignored.  His attempt to bring it into the 1980s with new titles, music and less frivolity freshened the brand considerably.

Records for Buck Rogers are dependent on the programme making the Top Twenty: the episode shown on 15th November was 19th= with 13.45m; the ep on 6th December was 17th with 13.5m.  Safe to assume this wasn't far off the norm.

Still no contest though, in my opinion.

So it was approx. 12m watching ITV against 5m for BBC1.  At the time, ITV's average share was 49% to BBC1's 39% (with BBC2 on 12%) - a much healthier division would've been 9.5m for Buck Rogers and 7.5m for Who.

Weeks 2-8 Buck Rogers was preceded by Metal Mickey Series 1, then by Worzel Gummidge Series 3 for weeks 9-16.  After week 6, Who was brought forward half an hour to run against the first rather than second half of Buck Rogers, and supported by The Basil Brush Show.  The dapper little red fox had his own variety show on BBC1 from 1968, and this was the final run.

Saturday 4th October 1980 - probably also quite a few watching Jailhouse Rock on BBC2

Juliet Bravo, a new Ian Kennedy Martin police series starring Stephanie Turner, ran its first series those same four months, on BBC1 usually around 7.25pm.  Audiences grew to a peak of almost 17 million.  Preceding it, and directly after Who for weeks 1-6, separated by news and sports results thereafter, was Larry Grayson's Generation Game.  His third series as host proved as phenomenally popular as ever, averaging about 16½m.  It was only Doctor Who letting the side down.

The figures probably had some bearing on Tom Baker's departure after seven seasons, announced to the press on Friday 24th October.  He may have been going anyway, but no one was likely to dissuade him now.  Maybe a change was due.

Peter Davison's casting as the fifth actor to play the Doctor, announced on Tuesday 4th November, was astute.  Davison was an extremely high profile young actor, having begun to appear in starring roles on television after his supporting turn as Tristan in three series of period drama All Creatures Great and Small.

1982 and arguably the last successful new era for Doctor Who until 2005.

At the time of his negotiations over Doctor Who, he was being seen in new LWT sitcom Holding the Fort and recording another, Sink or Swim, for the BBC.  Securing him for Who was quite a coup on Nathan-Turner's part.  Otherwise, who knows?  Those figures are crying out for the axe, long before Michael Grade came along.  In fact, Grade was working for LWT at the time and commissioned Holding the Fort.

Happy to note is that come the New Year, Buck Rogers took a break and average ratings for Tom Baker's remaining 12 episodes were 6.8m (a 34% increase).

And happier, the first series with a new Doctor in eight years averaged 9.24m when shown January-March 1982, in a weekday early evening slot - a major change prompted by the poor showing for the previous run.  Davison's debut as the Doctor ran twice-weekly, Mondays and Tuesdays at around 7pm and reversed the decline in viewership, for now.

As for Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, it was cancelled by NBC midway through its second season.  I think ITV completed the series, but it never enjoyed another full network showing after that initial 16 week run.

P.S. I watched Who.  Apart from 18th October when I was packed off to my cousins', who watched Buck Rogers.  I switched over at the first ad break to see Who's closing credits.  "Meglos" Part Four, I never knew you.

MISFITS by Eric Chappell (Yorkshire TV, 1981)

The cast of YTV sitcom Misfits: (l-r) ENN REITEL as Skinner; ANNE STALLYBRASS as Mrs Ridgeway; and KEVIN LLOYD as Oscar

Right up front, I have to say I cannot really comment about the content of Misfits at all.  So far as I'm aware, it has never been shown in the UK since its original transmission in June/July 1981.  I watched every episode, so I must've liked it - but I was 10 at the time and all I can remember is that one of the two male characters, probably Enn Reitel* as Skinner, wore a blue jeans and sweatshirt combo that I liked so much I've more or less copied it ever since.

* Pronounced N Rye Tell, as I remember the 'TV Times' telling us once.

However, as it was written by Eric Chappell - only his fourth sitcom creation after The Squirrels, Rising Damp and Only When I Laugh - it must've been good.  I imagine it followed his usual pattern of well-drawn characters, idiosyncratic turn of phrase, glorious gags and expertly crafted, fast paced stories.  Given that it was about two young men lodging with an older female character, perhaps it was even reminiscent of Rising Damp in many ways.

Something I've noticed about Chappell sitcoms over many years of watching is that they require a certain acting style.  Just as there is David Mamet-speak, there is Eric Chappell-speak.  Watch a handful and see.

There's a tangential connection to Only Fools and Horses - discussed at length elsewhere in this blog - in that Enn Reitel's commitment to this prevented him taking the role of Del-boy, as the recording dates clashed.  No, really.

The earliest mention I can find of the series is in an interview with Eric Chappell in The Stage and Television Today, dated 7 August 1980: "I am aware that I have been writing about older characters and wanted to create a series about young people - not only to involve young actors, but to explore that kind of comedy.  The two lads in The Misfits have an ambition to go to India, to travel, but never quite manage to make it".

Actually, that reminds me of something else about the series I do remember: that I liked the idea of the two main characters not actually getting to Katmandu.  In fact, not even leaving the confines of a house.  I probably identified with that even then.

Later in the same article: "I think my strength is writing naturalist comedy, as realistic as possible without losing the humour.  I'm disappointed that many critics do not take situation comedy more seriously.  It's not the Cinderella of television by any means, but I still feel that too many critics think of comedy as a passing thing. I really would like to see it with greater status".

Misfits cast Anne Stallybrass, formerly of The Onedin Line, as the "happily divorced" Mrs Ridgeway, and Enn Reitel and Kevin Lloyd as the two 30-ish drifters, Skinner and Oscar, alleged friends of her son who turn up at her door.  This was the first of a number of Eighties sitcom star vehicles for actor and renowned voice artiste Reitel, later seen in The Further Adventures of Lucky Jim on BBC2, the near silent The Optimist on Channel 4, and Mog on ITV - the first and last of these scripted by Clement and La Frenais.

It was also an early starring role for character actor Kevin Lloyd, later to find fame as D.C. "Tosh" Lines in The Bill before an untimely death aged 49, in 1998.

The seven-part series was recorded late March to early May 1981 under experienced sitcom producer/director Ronnie Baxter (Rising Damp, In Loving Memory, The Galton & Simpson Playhouse, The Nesbitts are Coming, many others).  Transmission was shortly thereafter: 5th June to 17th July in the coveted Friday night at 8.30pm slot.

Kevin Lloyd and Anne Stallybrass in the only actual picture from the series I could find - from 'TV Times' dated 30 May - 5 June 1981.  An interview with Ms Stallybrass helped publicise the opening episode.

The seven episode titles, and their listing magazine synopses, are as follows:

"MAY WE COME IN?" (5th June 1981)

When Skinner and Oscar appear out of the fog in search of the YMCA, Mrs Ridgeway is understandably surprised.  She's even more surprised when they claim to be making their way to Katmandu.  After a gold cigarette case goes missing, she becomes convinced her quiet life will never be the same again.

"THE DEBT MAN COMETH" (12th June 1981)

Determined to get to Katmandu, the boys approach Mrs Ridgeway for the money.  They decide to rely on the old Skinner charm (which no woman can resist) and soon find themselves out of pocket.  The situation is further complicated by the arrival of a debt collector.

"MEN ABOUT THE HOUSE" (19th June 1981)

When Mrs Ridgeway needs a few jobs doing around the house, Skinner and Oscar volunteer - with dire consequence...

"A TOUCH OF CLASS" (26th June 1981)

Skinner and Oscar decide to visit the local pub to meet the natives.  Unfortunately the natives don't wish to meet them...

"ONE FOR THE POT" (3rd July 1981)

When the boys have finally eaten their way through Mrs Ridgeway's deep freeze, Skinner offers to shoot something for the table.  Oscar doesn't mind chasing after birds but not the feathered variety and the two friends soon fall out...

"HAPPY EVER AFTER" (10th July 1981)

Liz puts her hand to a bit of marriage guidance but receives some unwanted help from Skinner and Oscar.

"SONS AND LOVERS" (17th July 1981)

When Mrs Ridgeway entertains Vernon, her man of mystery, she warns the boys to keep out of her way.  But Vernon soon becomes more than mystified by Skinner and Oscar...

Unfortunately, none of these ring any bells with me.

The series did okay in the ratings: both the first and last episodes made No. 7 in the week's charts with over 12 million viewers.    Other episodes seem to have been around the 10m mark, for an average I guess of about 11m.  Competition from BBC1 was nothing special.  Other ITV sitcoms on air at the same time were the new Sorry, I'm a Stranger Here Myself with Robin Bailey, a third series of Bless Me, Father with Arthur Lowe and a second for John Mills and Megs Jenkins in Young at Heart.

11m was not as high as usual for Eric Chappell series at this point, but it was the summer.  Certainly if you'd done a sitcom audit for the year, much better than Only Fools and Horses....

However, it didn't continue for some reason.  It doesn't have the same star wattage as other Chappell series, though that oughtn't to have mattered - maybe it did to the IBA.  He moved on to The Bounder starring Peter Bowles, a better remembered series although it only produced two series.

So, Misfits remains in classic sitcom limbo, a shame because anything by Eric Chappell has got to be worth a look.  There's a chance that one of these days, Network DVD will rescue it from obscurity.  In the meantime, if anyone out there does remember it with greater clarity than me, please do share your opinions.

Next time: L for Lester starring Brian Murphy.  No, not really but I will probably look at Cowboys with Roy Kinnear and Colin Welland sometime soon.

ONLY FOOLS and HORSES.... A broadcast history (part 5): 1990-93 BONUS

I didn't have room in the last post to comment on repeats during this period, so I'll talk about them briefly.

1990

Series 1 got its first ever peak time rerun, almost exactly nine years after the original screening - Friday nights at 8.30pm, 7th September to 12th October.  Average audience was 6.32m, chart position the mid-50s.  Nothing special, but it could almost have constituted archival material by that stage.  Series 2, not seen since summer 1983, followed on with much the same.

I think this was the first time I'd seen one or two of those episodes, "A Slow Bus to Chingford" for example.

It's worth noting that by this year, over 70% of UK households had a VCR.  Repeats were losing their lustre.  Also, satellite package Sky Television had begun broadcasting in February 1989, and BSB in March of this year.  By Christmas they had merged.  The terrestrial broadcasters finally had some real competition.

Trotter's Ethnic Tours proves a damp squib in "A Slow Bus to Chingford".  Hancock and Sid would've been proud.

1991

The previous year's special "Rodney Come Home" was reshown Sunday 8th December at 8.05pm, to an impressive 13.3m (17th place).  "Three Men, a Woman and a Baby" got a standalone repeat, probably by popular demand, a couple of weeks later on Monday 23rd at 7.10pm - 11.1m watched (34th).

1992

Series 7, with "Miami Twice" Part 1 tagged on at the end, got its first full repeat 11th March - 29th April, Wednesdays around 8pm.  An average 9½m tuned in.  "Miami Twice" Part 2 then followed a week and a half later, on Saturday 9th May at 6.25pm - 12.6 million.  Not too far off its first showing a few months before.

1993

As that's us up to the final series, there aren't many more first time repeats left to document. 

An oddity: Series 1, ep 2 "Go West Young Man", in which Del and Rodney hit the West End clubs, was shown on BBC Two Sunday 3rd January at 8.40pm, as part of a weekend devoted to the City of London.  It stormed the secondary channel's charts, gaining 7.7m - the highest audience ever to watch this episode.  Only 6.1m had tuned in in September 1981.

Del and Rodney clubbing it in "Go West Young Man".  Some things go wrong.  Well it was only episode 2!

And beyond...

The 1992 and 1993 Christmas Specials weren't immediately repeated, for reasons unknown.  "Mother Nature's Son" wasn't seen again on BBC1 for over six years - Saturday 9th January 1999 at 9pm, watched by 7.22m.

"Fatal Extraction" didn't have so long to wait - Tuesday 17th December 1996 at 9.30pm, amusing 11.56m (14th for the week).  Perhaps the public were in a celebratory mood, for the first new episodes in three years were just over a week away.

ONLY FOOLS and HORSES.... A broadcast history (part 5): 1990-93

Into 1990 and we were in the middle of the longest gap in production for the series yet, nearly 18 months.

"The Jolly Boys' Outing" was first repeated on Sunday 8th July at 4.50pm.  7.6 million viewers and 31st in the charts is a lot less than usual for this period but then it was rather early.  On a Sunday.  In July.

The cast kept busy: Nick Lyndhurst finished off one long-running LWT sitcom, The Two of Us and started on another, The Piglet Files.

By the late 80s David Jason's stock on British television was still on the rise, largely on account of Only Fools' continued high profile but buoyed by his 1988 Best Actor BAFTA for portraying aged college porter Skullion in Channel 4's adaptation of Tom Sharpe's Porterhouse Blue.

As a result he began to branch out, accepting an offer from Yorkshire Television to take the role of Ted Simcock in their new comedy drama A Bit of a Do written by David Nobbs.  Screened by ITV the same six weeks as Series 6 of Fools*, it averaged over 14 million viewers and indicated that the public accepted the actor as a leading man outside of the BBC sitcom.

*Not riding on BBC coattails at all there, ITV.

David Jason with his A Bit of a Do co-stars (l-r) Nicola Pagett and Gwen Taylor

A Bit of a Do ran for one more series, but Yorkshire had another vehicle for him - an adaptation of H E Bates' The Darling Buds of May, the series of comic novels about the exploits of the big-hearted Larkin family in their idyllic Kent farm in the 1950s.  As we all know, Jason played the patriarch, Pop Larkin, opposite Pam Ferris as Ma and up-and-coming Catherine Zeta-Jones as their daughter, Mariette.  To say the resulting series caught the mood of the time is an understatement.  The debut episode on Sunday 7th April 1991 went straight to the top of the charts with 16.68m - a figure Only Fools had taken about five series to achieve.  In a couple of weeks audiences had risen to 18.35m.  David Jason's availability to the BBC was about to become extremely limited.

Jason toasts his Darling Buds success with Pam Ferris, Philip Franks and Catherine Zeta Jones.  A rather obvious caption, I admit.

But not just yet.  Immediately after completing his first series of Darling Buds, in October 1990, it was time to make another series of Only Fools - the last, as it turned out.

We kicked off again on Christmas Day 1990 at 5.10pm with "Rodney Come Home" winning 18m, No.3 for the week. Competition was the tail end of the, I believe, fifth ITV showing for Moonraker; a festive edition of Michael Barrymore quiz Strike It Lucky, featuring child contestants; and Ken Dodd at the London Palladium.

In "Rodney Come Home" we learn that Raquel, having been unexpectedly reunited with Del in "The Jolly Boys' Outing" - a surprise I don't recall being spoiled anywhere - is now living at the Nelson Mandela House flat.  Rodney and Cassandra are having marital problems on account of Cassie's ambitions at work.

The S7 regular cast in "Rodney Come Home".
They evidently enjoyed making it, at least.

The episode is amusing enough, but it's immediately obvious that something has changed.  The storyline is meandering, and the ending is downbeat - Rod and Cass have split, temporarily at any rate, and he heads back to the flat with Del to the voice of, not John Sullivan singing "Hooky Street", but Joan Armatrading singing "Somebody Who Loves You".

Up until this point, I'd argue that no episode had simply been about relationships, and that it's uncharacteristic of this sitcom to do so.

Another curiosity is Del-boy's assertion to Albert, in the very first scene, that he no longer takes anything to do with dodgy goods:

Albert
What you got in that suitcase then?  Hooky gear?

Del

(deeply offended)

How dare you!  I don't deal in that sort of stuff - least not since Raquel's been with me - I can't get her involved in anything like that.

Arthur Daley gives a similar speech in an episode of Minder, the first without Dennis Waterman, filmed around the same time.  I may be making more of this than necessary but surely it's noteworthy that two such kindred spirits of the 1980s should vocally amend their philosophy as soon as they emerged in a brand new decade; and that shortly after, Margaret Thatcher was forced to stand down as Prime Minister.

The new series began five days later, on Sunday 30th December at 7.15pm.  Episodes were again 50 minutes, but made on a ten-day turnaround rather than the seven days that had so exhausted everyone last time round.

Ep 1, "The Sky's the Limit" got 15 million viewers opposite The Very Best of Beadle.  It's a decent episode, in which Boycie has his expensive new satellite dish nicked, but I remember a former schoolfriend of mine, and fan of the show, bemoaning that the conclusion - it appears that the satellite dish sitting on the Trotters' flat balcony is directing a 747 towards the tower block - was just stupid.

It didn't particularly bother me, but I can't deny it would have looked out of place in even the series before.  Of course, 911 has since placed its own, rather more serious, imprint on the scene.

Into the new year, and the remaining five episodes were shown at 7.15pm Sundays, opposite Murder, She Wrote -- ITV wisely continuing not to even bother.  I was in my second year at University here, but we had such long Christmas holidays I was able to see the whole run before it was time to go back!

I was in touch quite a bit with another mate from school around this time - the person who'd first told me about Only Fools back in 1982, in fact - so I specifically remember it in terms of discussing with him each week.  We both liked the series on the whole.

The return of Del's nemesis, ex-DCI Roy Slater, played by Jim Broadbent, in "The Class of '62" was another surprise, albeit guessable.  Nowadays he'd be on the front of the listings mags.

An unwelcome return visit to Peckham by former bent copper Roy Slater, but viewers had a great time!

Something else about "The Class of '62" - we learn that Del, Trig, Boycie, Denzil and Slater went to school together.  Now, if John Sullivan says so I'm not inclined to argue, but in my opinion this is a case of something that wasn't necessarily the case solidifying into canon as the episodes stack up.  Rodney didn't seem to know Trigger terribly well, if at all, when he meets him in "Big Brother"; and neither Rodney nor Grandad knew Boycie the first time they met him on screen.  Never mind - it seems right.

Other episodes from S7 include "Stage Fright", with Philip Pope as club singer with a speech impediment Tony Angelino; and a long overdue showcase for Albert, the apparent victim of a mugging in "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Uncle".

The 7-episode run was, like the previous series, serialised.  Rodney and Cassandra remain estranged, with Rod resigning from his position with his father-in-law's printing firm.  Probably inevitable, plot-wise, that he return to Trotters' Independent Traders if the series was to continue.  But the most important continuing storyline is Del's impending fatherhood, Raquel revealing the good news in ep 2, "The Chance of a Lunchtime".

Heck of a lot better than 3 Men and a Baby, that's for sure.

And so, in "Three Men, a Woman and a Baby", Raquel gives birth to Damien.  The series couldn't have had a better ending - a hilarious, heart-warming episode and one of the best-loved.  The "Damien-as-Anti-Christ" gag starts here, and it's a great one although playing havoc with the series' later release on DVD.  The Carmina Burana piece used to accompany Rodney's arsenal of horrified looks has presumably proved too expensive to clear and been replaced in all cases by Jerry Goldsmith's 'Ave Satani' from The Omen soundtrack - appropriate, but poorly done.

The ratings?  Sensational.  Again, the best so far - an average of 16.75m, with the finale reaching 18.9m and No. 1.  Another triumph for all concerned, but if I had a criticism other than the slight dip in quality inevitable for a ten year old series, it would be because of the serial form.  I think you risk compromising the shape of individual episodes when you introduce ongoing storylines - and that shape is one of the great strengths of sitcom.

Nick Lyndhurst and David Jason on location in Miami, publicising BBC One's Christmas 1991 schedule.

October to December saw production of that year's Christmas special - a two-parter for the first time, and an expensive one as David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst headed to Florida for "Miami Twice", a Clouseau-esque tale of Del discovered as being the exact double of Don Vincenzo Ochetti, a Mafia boss on the verge of life imprisonment.  But, not if he's very publicly assassinated first...

A rather silly story, and not liked by many, but I love watching it for its production values.  Unless I'm mistaken, it is a very early use for British television of Super 16mm film - which would look sensational in Hi-Def.  Still waiting.

Part One went out on Christmas Eve at 7.30pm opposite The Bill, winning 17.7m; Part Two on Christmas Day at 3.10pm, just after the Queen's Christmas message - the earliest slot ever for a first run episode, and perhaps one reason for the less impressive audience of 14.9m.  Strong competition for once, the first of two visits to Coronation Street that day, and one which cheekily straddled the Queen's speech, may be another.

Fools fans had done pretty well the past 12 months, but into the new year and David Jason's schedule became even busier.  A fan of Columbo, he had always wanted to star in a detective series, and when Yorkshire Television asked him what he wanted to do next, he seized his chance.  A suitable vehicle was found in the form of R D Wingfield's series of novels about the slovenly Denton-based DCI "Jack" Frost.  The resulting show ran for 17 years.

David Jason's Jack Frost is not that similar to the character from the books, but it didn't matter.  It was another huge success for the actor.

In 1992 Jason filmed the first three A Touch of Frosts followed by the third and final run of Darling Buds.  Not much room for further Trotter shenanigans but luckily, the Fools Christmas Special had become such an important part of the festive schedule that we could at least rely on it if not a series - for a time.

Producer Gareth Gwenlan gives an interesting insight into Jason's availability for "Mother Nature's Son", the 1992 Christmas episode, in the 'Daily Express' on Saturday 19th December: "I had to know a year ago when I would be able to have him.  He became available to us on December 1, and we ha[ve] his services until December 22".  Jason himself is quoted as saying in the same article: "As long as John Sullivan can go on writing Only Fools, I'll go on playing Del.  When you get writing of that quality, you simply don't turn your back on it".

Albert, Del and Rodney visit Grandad's allotment in "Mother Nature's Son"

"Mother Nature's Son" saw Del 'discover' the Peckham Spring on Grandad's old allotment, a new source of spring water which proved very lucrative - in fact, it was tap water from the flat.  A step up from "Miami Twice" and winner of the highest audience yet, a massive 20.13m viewers when shown on Christmas Day at 6.55pm - opposite Barrymore.  Things may have been winding down for the show, but with that kind of following, it was still assured a future.

John Sullivan with Diane Bull publicising Sitting Pretty in 1992.  Not repeated, not on DVD, but not that bad.

1993 was apparently to have seen an eighth series, but Jason's contract with YTV put paid to that.  Nicholas Lyndhurst meanwhile began his long run in Goodnight, Sweetheart for the BBC, and John Sullivan was in the midst of his first new show in seven years, Sitting Pretty.  Starring the late Diane Bull as Annie Briggs, 1960s good time girl forced to return to her humble beginnings when her rich husband dies leaving her penniless, it ran to two series but sadly, was not a success.

One more special - October/November 1993 saw filming of the ninth and final consecutive Only Fools Christmas Day special, "Fatal Extraction".  This time it's Del and Raquel who are having difficulties (Rodney and Cassandra had resolved theirs), and Del makes an ill-advised date with a dental receptionist who may have some issues with rejection.

Some things never change.  Rodney forced to model Del-boy's latest bargain items in "Fatal Extraction" - skiing gear "manufactured by the one country that leads the world in alpine clothing - namely, Fiji"

Of comparable quality to "Mother Nature's Son", "Fatal Extraction" was shown at 6.05pm to 19.59m viewers, opposite ITV film premiere National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.  It was only beaten in the week's charts by Boxing Day's One Foot in the Algarve with 20m, the highest audience ever achieved by Victor Meldrew and a victory not begrudged by me.

And then...it grew quiet.  Was the series finished?  No - but in terms of regular production it was, after 12 years and 58 episodes.  The end of a glorious era.

Next time: the final chapter.  Two comeback trilogies, one stupendously successful, the other...not so much.

Rising Damp - first run audience figures

A quick look at the ratings for Eric Chappell's sublime ensemble comedy Rising Damp, originally shown on ITV between 1974 and 1978.

Rigsby (Leonard Rossiter) and Miss Jones (Frances de la Tour).  Sitcom poetry.

The series started life as 'The Banana Box', a stage play which Yorkshire Television head of light entertainment John Duncan saw and commissioned as a pilot when it flopped in the West End in 1973.

"[I]n a big Shaftesbury Avenue house like the Apollo it seems painfully thin, as if a television Comedy Playhouse had been stretched on the rack to go the requisite two hour distance."

Michael Billington, The Guardian (26 June 1973)

Newspaper ad for 'The Banana Box's pre-West End run at the Hampstead Theatre.  Leonard Rossiter played not Rigsby, but Rooksby in the stage play.

A series was developed before the pilot had been shown but, like Only Fools and Horses...., it was not an immediate success.

Remember that until August 1977, Audits of Great Britain, whose JICTAR system recorded weekly ratings, measured audiences in terms of millions of homes rather than viewers.  The BFI suggests multiplying by 2.2 to arrive at a figure approximating viewers.

Chart positions are probably as good a method of comparison as any.


Pilot (2nd September 1974)
Monday at 8pm, opposite on BBC1 European Athletics Championships.

'The New Tenant' - 6.15m (11th for the week)

"[O]ne of those exercises in which the parts added up to even more than the whole ... If Rossiter in particular can keep this up, and is given the scripts, we should have a gentle treat to look forward to."

Peter Fiddick, The Guardian (3 September 1974)

This was the first in a series of six pilots intiated by incoming YTV Head of Comedy Duncan Wood.  One other series resulted - Oh No - It's Selwyn Froggitt! with Bill Maynard.


Series 1 (13th December 1974-17th January 1975)
Fridays at 8.30pm, opposite Ken Dodd's World of Laughter (episodes 1-2 and 4), 1961 feature film El Cid (ep 3) and sitcom Second Time Around starring Michael Craig (eps 5 and 6)

1. 'Black Magic' - not in Top 20
2. 'A Night Out' - not in Top 20
3. 'Charisma' - not in Top 20
4. 'All Our Yesterdays' - 6.50 (15th)
5. 'The Prowler' - 7.10 (15th=)
6. 'Stand Up and Be Counted' - 6.95m (17th=)

"There are so many factors that make it a paragon of funnies.  Firmly based in a human situation, garlanded with topical pokes and timeless ones, it is fully exploited by a marvellous cast."

Tom Holt, The Stage and Television Today (23 January 1975)

Labour MP Tom Pendry sued Yorkshire Television over series 1 finale "Stand Up And Be Counted", which originally featured a Labour candidate with the same surname.  All references to the character's name are removed in the extant version.

Series 2 (7th November - 19th December 1975)
Fridays at 7.30pm, opposite US imports The Invisible Man, starring David McCallum (episodes 1-4) and repeats of The Wonderful World of Disney (eps 5-7)

1. 'The Permissive Society' - not in Top 20
2. 'Food Glorious Food' - not in Top 20
3. 'A Body Like Mine' - not in Top 20
4. 'Moonlight and Roses' - not in Top 20
5. 'A Perfect Gentleman' - 7.05m (15th)
6. 'The Last of the Big Spenders' - 7.30m (13th=)
7. 'Things That Go Bump in the Night' - 7.25m (16th)

The Invisible Man seems to have been stronger competition than The Wonderful World of Disney, though he never appeared in the Top 20.

"...Leonard Rossiter as Rigsby, the passionately inquisitive landlord, forever hovering on the fringe of his tenants' lives like an avaricious crow..."

Sylvia Clayton, The Daily Telegraph (8 November 1975)

Philip (Don Warrington) and Rigsby fight in 'A Body Like Mine'.
To the victor - a date with Miss Jones!

Christmas Special (26th December 1975)
Boxing Day at 7.45pm, opposite 1970 film The Railway Children

'For The Man Who Has Everything' - not in Top 20

Stage commitments prevented Frances de la Tour appearing in the latter half of Series 2.  Gay Rose stepped in as new tenant Brenda.

Series 3 (12th April - 24th May 1977)
Tuesdays at 8.30pm, opposite the penultimate series of long-running police drama Z Cars.  With a midweek slot, suddenly everything clicked.

1. 'That's My Boy' - 7.85m (5th)
2. 'Stage Struck' - 8.40m (5th)
3. 'Clunk Click' - 8.45m (5th)
4. 'The Good Samaritans' - 8.25m (3rd)
5. 'Fawcett's Python' - 8.40m (3rd)
6. 'The Cocktail Hour' - 8.05m (2nd)
7. 'Suddenly at Home' - 8.20m (1st)

"[N]ot since the association of Tony Hancock with Galton and Simpson has such a comic-tragic figure emerged.  Rigsby is a delightful fool and the characters spread around him by producer Ronnie Baxter add so well and unobtrusively to the humour."

James Thomas, Daily Express (13 April 1977)

Peter Bowles guest starred as resting actor Hilary in 'Stage Struck', which won Series 3 the BAFTA for Situation Comedy of 1977

Series 4 (4th April - 9th May 1978)
Tuesdays at 8.00pm, opposite new BBC Scotland drama serial The Standard starring Colette O'Neil and Patrick Malahide.  No Richard Beckinsale in this last run - he was busy with West End musical comedy "I Love My Wife" and Porridge sequel Going Straight.

1. 'Hello Young Lovers' - 18.20m (2nd)
2. 'Fire and Brimstone' - 18.55m (1st)
3. 'Great Expectations' - 18.25m (1st)
4. Pink Carnations' - 17.80m (1st)
5. 'Under The Influence' - 16.90m (2nd)
6. 'Come On In, The Water's Lovely' - 15.10m (6th)

"The series has been a personal triumph for Leonard Rossiter.  He plays it so frantically that at times it seems he'll spoil everything by going right over the top.  But he knows just what he is doing and always stops short by a hairsbreadth."

Peter Knight, The Daily Telegraph (11 May 1978)

Just the three regulars in Series 4, but it moves so fast no one would notice.

So Rising Damp came to an end after four series, its reputation forever intact.  Eric Chappell moved on to hospital comedy Only When I Laugh starring James Bolam, which proved almost as popular.


The Movie (UK release: 14 February 1980)

UK quad poster for the modestly budgeted film version, directed by Joe McGrath.  Christopher Strauli played art student John, standing in for Richard Beckinsale, who passed away on 19th March 1979.

"It feels like three telly segments gummed back to back and confirms that the most dreaded words associated with a TV series today are 'The Movie'."

Alexander Walker, Evening Standard (14 February 1980)

The inevitable feature film version premiered on ITV on Thursday 3rd March 1983, 7.45-9.30pm. Shown opposite Top of the Pops, The Kenny Everett Television Show, the first episode of documentary series The Paras and the Nine O'Clock News, 12.20m tuned in (12th for the week).

ONLY FOOLS and HORSES.... A broadcast history (part 4): 1988-89

What many consider the very pinnacle of Only Fools was just around the corner but to backtrack a little, Series 5 was repeated 10th Sept to 15th Oct 1987, Thursdays at 8.30pm.  Aside from a blip caused by being up against ITV's premiere of Romancing the Stone (14.2m, 3rd for the week against "From Prussia With Love" with 6.5m, 57th for the week), the usual 13m or so tuned in.

These repeats didn't make BBC1 Northern Ireland - we got them on Fridays at 8pm, on BBC2.  Presumably some regional programme took precedence.  The gall!

And as mentioned the first series finally got a repeat, six years down the line, when following on from the single showing of "Big Brother" in April, the other five episodes were shown mid-October 1987 - albeit during daytime.

BBC One's daytime schedule had launched a year earlier, in late October 1986, a development which brought Australian soap Neighbours into the zeitgeist.  So why throw the show away in such a slot, when repeats were a guaranteed smash?  Was it felt by everyone that Series 1 wasn't up to the usual standards?  Or that the theme tune would be too jarring?  One can only speculate, but I think I only watched one in this run.  I've no idea why - I absolutely loved the show, and we certainly had a VCR.  I have a feeling I thought it was substandard.  Or perhaps I was particularly busy at school at the time (hey, anything's possible).

Episode 3 of Series 1, 'Cash & Curry' - I think this is the one and only episode I watched from the 1987 afternoon repeats.  Why isn't Lennard Pearce in it?  Was it originally planned that Grandad wouldn't always feature?  If so, thankfully they changed their minds.

Controversial Christmas '86 episode "A Royal Flush" was reshown Sunday 6th December, winning 13.2m, 10th for the week.  In its original 76 minute form, I believe this was seen on terrestrial telly only once more, in 1992.

Into 1988, and apparently it was possible the show was over.  This was presumably John Sullivan's decision as David Jason was particularly keen for the programme to return; a reversal of a couple of years before when it was Jason who had considered calling it a day.

But with Dear John.... and Just Good Friends no longer in production, it would be 1992 before Sullivan created a new show.  Instead, he concentrated on Fools exclusively for the next few years - other than adapting some of his scripts for the US version of Dear John, starring Judd Hirsch of Taxi fame (and which ran to four seasons).  Funnily enough, as I write this, another Taxi alum has been cast in the new US version of Only Fools - Christopher Lloyd is playing Grandad.

Anyway, back to 1988 and the UK and a fairly swift repeat of Christmas '87 special "The Frog's Legacy" on Tuesday 28th June garnered 9.4m (15th for the week).

Tessa Peake Jones as Raquel in 'Dates': "I don't think John Sullivan had any intention of making her a regular character... I only ever saw it as a one-off appearance" [quoted in The Complete A-Z of Only Fools and Horses by Richard Webber, Orion 2002]

The decision to recommission the show was a late one on the BBC's part, for whatever reason.  Production on Series 6 began on Sunday 6th November with the scenes at Waterloo Station where Del meets Raquel for the first time, in Christmas Day episode "Dates".  This was a little later than planned, thanks to David Jason working on A Bit of a Do for Yorkshire Television - the beginning of his long-term association with the ITV franchise holder and one which eventually did not suffer Fools gladly.

Here is where the sitcom format was revolutionized: the schedule had been locked in to the usual, three or four weeks filming followed by weekly rehearsal/recording of 30 minute episodes.  But John Sullivan was turning in very long scripts...  To cut a long story short, the BBC were happy to promote Fools to a 50 minute format in view of its huge success; actors' fees were renegotiated accordingly, but nothing could be done about the schedule.

And so over the next couple of months, cast and crew produced an 80 minute special and six 50 minute episodes and by all accounts nearly killed themselves doing so.  With transmission of the seven week run beginning at Christmas, they ended up only one week ahead in recording.

But the results were glorious.  Maybe all studio audience sitcom should be made thus.

"Dates" introduced Raquel, a winning performance by Tessa Peake Jones, a serious girlfriend for Del and a welcome stab at moving the series on.  The episode has been cited by John Sullivan as his very favourite, everything paying off beautifully.  I won't demur, it's wonderful.  Shown on Christmas Day 1988 at 5.05pm opposite the too-late premiere of The Empire Strikes Back on ITV, it got 16.6m (7th for the week).

The series proper started a couple of weeks later with "Yuppy Love" on Sunday 8th January at 7.15pm.  Competition was Roy Walker quiz Catchphrase and LWT wartime drama Wish Me Luck.  Meanwhile on BBC1, Del boy was giving us his own catchphrase - and falling through a bar.

"Breakfast is for wimps" - Del-boy in his Gordon Gekko phase.  Wall Street was released in the UK in late April 1988.  The genius of John Sullivan to react accordingly.

Yes, would you believe me if I told you it was with this episode that Del's most recognisable catchphrase originated?  Eight years, six series and 41 episodes in, he said "lovely jubbly" for the first time.  He had also, hilariously, become a yuppy, having watched Michael Douglas in Wall Street.  Such fresh and promising schick from such a well established character is one reason why the show, after all this time, was still winning converts.

I've got nothing much to say on the subject of Del falling through the bar.  It was funny, and has certainly played its part in the programme's placement in the popular culture.  But it's been recycled so often as to attract ridicule.  And the chandelier gag is funnier.

"Yuppy Love" also introduced Gwyneth Strong as a love interest for Rodney, Cassandra Parry.  Nicely underplayed by the actress, the comic business involving the pair of them - Rodney pretending to live in the exclusive King's Avenue since she's dropping him off and he wants to make an impression - is every bit as inspired as the bar scene.

Cassandra: "You've taken my coat.  This one's yours"/ Rodney: "How'd you know it was mine?"/ Cassandra: "It's got your name written in it".  Del-boy embarrasses Rodney at his first meeting with Cassie and he's not even there!

Their romance developed over the six weeks, bringing a serialised element to the show for the first time, more akin to Just Good Friends than Fools and Horses.  I'm sure this played its part in the immense popularity of this series.  Had we been served up another 6 individual half-hours, I doubt the impact wouldn't have been the same.

And the impact was considerable.  Everyone was watching the show at this time.  In addition to the whole falling through the bar thing, who can forget "Danger UXD" (great title) about 'Lusty Linda' and 'Erotic Estelle', the blow-up dolls filled with propane; or "The Unlucky Winner Is..." with Rodney winning a Mega-Flakes competition, an all-expenses paid holiday to Spain - except, the organisers think he's 14; and finally, "Little Problems" when in a bittersweet ending Rodney ties the knot with Cassandra, finally leaving Nelson Mandela House, and Del-boy, for the life he's always wanted.

Ultimately, I still think the half-hours are the ones which shine brightest as comic jewels, but no one can question the marvellous second wind these longer episodes generated just when the show would almost certainly have started to flag.

Ratings were through the roof - an average of 16¾m, with the last episode reaching 18.9m.  Reviews couldn't be anything but positive.  If this was intended to be the end, reaction put paid to that.

A deserved BAFTA for "Comedy Series of 1988".  One of five wins for the programme, out of 17 nominations between 1983 and 1996.  Still not enough.

The show won a BAFTA for Best Comedy Series that March, officially for "Dates" as being shown in 1988 it was the only one eligible.  As a result it got a very fast repeat, Sunday 2nd April at 7.15pm - 15.1m tuned in, 8th for the week.

Series 6 got its first repeat 8th September to 13th October 1989, Fridays around 8pm.  An average of almost 13m, and never out of the Top Ten.  For the first time, I have little or no recollection of this, probably because the concept of video tape was so firmly entrenched that I had already watched the episodes a gazillion times.  In fact I still have the off-airs now.  Also, this straddles my going to University so I may have been otherwise occupied.

Albert, Del and Rodney on "The Jolly Boys' Outing" to Margate.  It doesn't really get any better than this.  Go watch.

A glorious year for the show was rounded off with Christmas Day special "The Jolly Boys' Outing", actually recorded in May on the heels of the series.  A much-loved episode, this tale of the Peckham regulars' disastrous beano to Margate was a showcase for the entire ensemble, many of whom I don't think I've mentioned here: Roger Lloyd Pack as slow-witted Trigger; John Challis as supercilious car salesman Boycie; Paul Barber as the luckless - any time Del is around - Denzil; Roy Heather as unhygienic cafe owner Sid; Kenneth McDonald as downtrodden Nag's Head manager Mike; Patrick Murray as Rodney's untrustworthy mate Mickey Pearce; and Denis Lill as Cassandra's dad, Alan.  It's about as much fun as actually going out for the day with these guys.

Shown at 4.05pm, the special cracked the twenty million mark for the first time - 20.12m viewers, opposite a new animated version of Roald Dahl's The B.F.G. (voiced by David Jason) on ITV.  A fitting end to the decade which had introduced us to the Trotters.

John Sullivan's work on these eight episodes is a textbook example of refreshing an ageing brand.  Indeed, he had put nary a foot wrong with the show yet.  47 episodes, almost all of them brilliant.

The next decade brought quite a bit more Fools, and most of its biggest audiences, but unfortunately not to the same very high standards we had so far enjoyed.

Next time: 1990-1993, the last years of regular production, and still plenty of high points but the superlatives will be less plentiful.